Processing one year in Tanzania

I came to the realization recently that I have been in Tanzania for more than a year. Therefore, I think it is appropriate to do some reflecting/processing on my first year here. I think the best way to process my year here, rather than some trite, cheasy, trying-to-be-more-insightful-than-I-actually-am blog entry, is to round up the year with some top ten lists. (Or top five lists, for stuff that I couldn't think of ten entries for).

Top 10 Favorite Swahili Words/Phrases
10) Mji wa mimba: literally "town of pregnancy." The word for uterus.
9) Haifai: It's not suitable. Said kind of like hi-fi
8) Habari za kupoteana? If someone hasn't seen you in awhile, they say this. What is the news of us losing one another?
7) Kitimoto: Pork. Literally "Chair-fire"
6) Kupiga stori: Shoot the shit.
5) Chapuchapu: Quickly! (Chop chop!)
4) Matako: Buttocks
3) Matiti: What do you think? Breasts of course.
2) Shaghalabaghala: Disorderly. Synonym for Peace Corps training.
1) Wowowo: Large butt. Said like it's written: woWOwo. Having one is a good thing here by the way.

Top 10 Books Read While in Tanzania
Honorable Mentions: You Shall Know our Velocity, Dave Eggers; Sophie's World, Jostein Garder; Lighthousekeeping, Jeanette Winterson; House of Spirits, Isabel Allende; Prodigal Summer, Barbara Kingsolver
10) Blink, Malcom Gladwell
9) The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell
8) Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Richard Pirsig
7) I Know This Much is True, Wally Lamb
6) Bel Canto, Ann Patchett
5) Pedagogy of the Oppressed, Paolo Freire
4) The Impossible Will Take a Little While
3) The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini
2) Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer
1) The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver

Top 5 Forms of Transportation
5) Daladala: Let's fit 30 people in a car slightly bigger than a mini-van.
4) Riding on the back of someone's bike: A lot better than being the one who is riding the bike.
3) Cell phone company cars: Note to future PCVs- make friends with people that work for the cell phone companies. They usually have nice cars.
2) Tractor: Preferably if there is a big cart attached to the back and there are a ton of people and everyone is singing.
1) Bajaji: Small tuk-tuk like vehicle. Can hold 1-9 people.

Top 10 Pick-up Lines People Have Used on Me or My Friends
10) Unanitega: "You turn me on." Nice and straightforward.
9) Let's have sex: Also straightforward.
8) "Do you have a fiance?" "Yes." "In America or Tanzania." "America." You need a Tanzanian fiancee."
7) "I want you to take me to Europe." "I'm not from Europe." "Ok where are you from?"
6) "Raula...Raula...Raula..." "What?" "I love you." People here can't say my name.
5) You've gotten fat. Tanzanian compliment.
4) "I love you." "You don't know me." "So let's get to know one another."
3) If you marry me I'll give you 600 shillings (like 50 cents) and a palm tree.
2) I want to marry an mzungu (white person).
1) So...tutasex?

Top 10 Foods Made Using Tomatoes and Onions Because Those are the Only Vegetables Always Available in My Village
10) Regular beans
9) Tomato curry
8) Chili
7) "Spanish" rice
6) Tomato soup
5) Baylor's Bread
4) Kachumbali (basically onions, tomatoes, salt and lemon juice)
3) Salsa and Chips
2) Scrambled eggs (provided I can find eggs)
1) Spaghetti (provided I remembered to buy pasta when I went to town)

Top 10 Forms of Insect Removal
10) Not doing anything, just hiding from them in my mosquito net
9) Pretending they are not there
8) Using a lint roller to remove ants when there are a ton of them on the floor
7) When out of bug spray, spraying the bugs with bleach
6) When out of bug spray, spraying the room with PC-supplied insect repellent intended for use on your body
5) Spraying down the house with probably-carcinogenic bug spray
4) For larger bugs, attacking them with the broom while screaming like an idiot
3) Sweeping them outside
2) Sic-ing my cat on the bugs
1) Having one of my neighbors come and removing them

Top 10 Things People Have Brought To My House to Sell To Me
10) Sweet potatoes. For this and other items on the list, remember there is not a lot of food available in the village.
9) Spinach
8) Bananas
7) Charcoal
6) Candlesticks
5) Eggs
4) Barack Obama kanga
3) A live turtle
2) George Bush kanga
1) A monkey. "Where did you get him?" "The bush." "What is its name?" "John."

Top 10 Challenges
10) Few forms of entertainment/distraction. Especially when I run out of things to run and have to resort to reading the Peace Corps newsletter.
9) Food. Or lack thereof.
8) Critters in my house. I'm getting better though. I don't freak out at spiders anymore (as much)
7) The amount of time it takes to accomplish things; meetings starting late or not at all
6) Tanzanian men
5) Trying to reconcile community needs/wants with what I personally have the desire and ability to do
4) Not having a structured job
3) Loneliness. PC loneliness is a hard-core different kind of loneliness than I'm used to. My friends in the village are great but sometimes not very helpful if I'm having a bad day, and you can only accomplish so much from texting other PCVs.
2) Trying to change people's perception about my role: ie it is not my job to bring money into the village, nor do I have the resources to do so
1) Language.

Top 10 Favorite Projects/ Work-Related(?) Activities
10) Making flipcharts for the dispensary.
9) Scolding random people for being alcoholics
8) Sort of helping my mama friends cook at their "restaurant"
7) Trying to teach my two-year old friend English
6) Playing silly games at the primary school (hokey-pokey, duck duck goose and it's variations (vegetable vegetable fruit, mosquito mosquito malaria mosquito))
5) Informal teaching in which my friends come over and look at all my random books laying around
4) Teaching community peer education group about malaria and HIV
3) Teaching secondary school students. Usually ends up being about sex.
2) Girls' camp (see previous post)
1) Condom demos- anywhere and everywhere

Masasi's Girls' Empowerment Conference

5 days and 4 nights. 4 Peace Corps Volunteers. 3 1/2 tanzanian counterparts. 33 secondary school students. 90 kilos of rice. 50 kilos of beans. 12,000 condoms. 6 wooden penises. 50 candles. No electricty. Best week ever(?). Most stressful week ever.

Pictures coming in a few weeks. I forgot my camera cord today.

(Why did we have 12,000 condoms, you ask? I told another PCV to go to the hospital and get a couple boxes of condoms. The small boxes that are given out at the hospital usually come in boxes of 100. She didn't know what boxes I was referring to, so she got two boxes that each had 60 of these small boxes, for a total of 6000 condoms per box.)

Who doesn't love Celine Dion?

Lesson learned in Tanzania: You can write a song about anything to the tune of "My Heart Will Go On".

I have started writing stupid songs to use when I teach, so the students will pay attention. They probably just think I am ridiculous, but I am at least amusing myself. The following are the lyrics to my song about STDs:

Verse 1:
Klamidia na kisonono
Ni magonjwa ya ngono.
Dalili zao ni sawasawa.
Usaha au maumivu
Wakati wa kukojoa.
Hizi ni dalili,
Lakini wengi hawana dalili zozote.

Chorus:
Klamidia, kisonono, kaswende na kankroidi
Haya ni magonjwa ambayo hatutaki kupata.
Usifanye ngono, uwe mwaminifu,
Au tumia kondomu kila tendo la ngono
Ukipata ugonjwa nenda kwa daktari mapema
Na waambie wapenzi wako ili watibiwe pia

Verse 2:
Kaswende ni ugonjwa
Wa madhara mengi,
Kwa mfano kichaa au kifo.
Inaanza na kidonda
Ambacho hakiumi,
Halafu kidonda kinapona.

Verse 3:
Kankroidi ni ugonjwa
Wa vidonda pia
Lakini vidonda hivi
Vinaumia sana.

Rough English translation:
Chlamydia and gonorrhea
Are sexually transmitted diseases.
Their symptoms are the same.
Discharge or pains while urinating
These are symptoms
But many have no symptoms at all.

Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphillis and chancroid.
These are diseases that we don't want to get.
Don't have sex, be faithful,
Or use a condom each time you have sex.
If you get an infection, go quickly to the doctor
And tell your partners so they can be treated too.

Syphillis is an infection
Of many consequences
Such as insanity or death.
It starts with a sore
That doesn't hurt.
Then the sore heals.

Chancroid is an infection
With sores also.
But these sores hurt a lot.

More than you ever wanted to know about my life...

Want to find out what I ate for dinner last Thursday? Let me tell you...

At the end of the week I usually find myself wondering, "What the hell have I been doing with myself this week?" So I decided to keep a record of my daily activities for a week and so I could see what in fact I have been doing with myself. (The conclusion: LOTS of condom demonstrations and distributions. And not much else.) Also some of you in America are under the impression that you can't email me or write to me because you have nothing to tell me, since what I am doing is so much more exciting than what you are doing. After reading this you will see that is definitely not the case.

Thursday 4/16:

• Taught about immune system at primary school; pretty sure students didn't understand me as usual.
• Took bike to get fixed twice
• Bugged fundi about when he is going to finish my furniture, and asked if he knew someone that can make me a wooden penis. Conversation was slightly less awkward than anticipated. Gave his assistant some condoms and did a condom demo.
• Went to this "restaurant" where I am friends with the mamas, and helped kuna nazi, or grind coconut. Ate lunch.
• Ran into the Village Executive Officer (VEO). He gave me some peanuts.
• Talked to this Red Cross volunteer, because after being here 8 months I still can't figure out if they actually do anything here or not.
• Came home, prepared teaching materials, made spaghetti for dinner, listened to radio, read, went to bed

Friday 4/17

• Taught HIV basics at dispensary and helped weigh babies.
• Came home and ate boiled peanuts for lunch
• Went to the village, where an NGO from a nearby town had come at my request to do an HIV testing day. Kind of got into a fight with someone from the NGO because their org is apparently funded by the Catholic Church, which I didn't know, and they apparently don't really teach about condom use as a way to prevent HIV, and he was trying to accuse me of giving out condoms without explaining how to use them.
• Showed up half an hour late for a meeting with a mama's group, which is usually on time in Tanzania, but almost everyone had left by the time I arrived. I explained for the 50th time that I cannot give them money to start their chicken-raising project, but if they each contribute money each month they will have enough money. Desperately tried to think of other things I could teach them, because they were just staring at me like I was useless, and tried to explain the concept of team-building exercises, which they didn't get at all.
• Came home. Some guy brought 70 eggs to my house. Contemplated buying all of them then only bought 4.
• My friend Omari came over. I tried to explain to him the concept of sarcasm after he was like, you know, there is this thing called HIV. I was like, no really? And he didn't understand that I was joking. Apparently there is actually a Swahili word for sarcasm: Kejeli.
• Took a shower after it got dark, had my cat kill all the roaches in the choo before I showered. Went to bed.

Saturday 4/18

• Went to Omari's farm with him, his mom, and his two neices. They gave me 3 pumpkins ad 6 ears of corn.
• Me and Omari came back to my house and listened to my ipod for awhile.
• I waited for my VEO to come to take me too this meeting we were supposed to go to. He never showed up so I went to the village to talk to him, talked to some other people in the village for awhile, got my bike fixed again, came home eventually. Ate some candy for dinner bc I didn't feel like cooking.

Sunday 4/19

• Nothing much: laundry (why did I ever complain about doing laundry in the US?). Made pumpkin casserole. My boss from Dar who was doing meetings in my region came and dropped off some books for me.

Monday 4/20

• Walked to a neighboring village to pick up surveys I had given to primary school teachers to see what they know about HIV. Took bus to next village. After going to the schools hung out with my mama friend at her "restaurant" for awhile. Waited for bus again, gave some condoms to student while I was waiting. Went to another village to pick up some books from another volutneer's house.
• By the time I got back home it was almost dark. Fundi brought me my penis model. Read and went to bed.

Tuesday 4/21

• Taught at secondary school; they decided to ask me every single random question they have ever had about sex. Explained what oral sex and the clitoris are.
• Got into an argument with some of the teachers because they seem to think that if they attend a training I am planning about HIV/AIDS, then I need to pay them and/or give them ridiculous amounts of food and soda.
• Did a "needs assessment" meeting in one of the sub-villages. I am trying to see if there are any big projects that the village wants done, and if so I will write a grant to help them get money. They decided either a well or a "modern" market would benefit the village.
• Came home, baked pumpkin bread, read, bed

Wednesday 4/22

• Taught at secondary school again.
• Guest teachers at the school talked to me for a long time about American politics. Did you know what "Obama" stands for? "Originally Born in Africa Made for America." This is a direct quote. I told the guy that Obama wasn't actually born in Africa but he didn't believe me.
• My friend Zeituni who I haven't seen in ages came over.
• A bunch of students came and asked for drinking water. Then a bunch more came and asked for condoms.
• Napped
• Taught some life skills stuff at the primary school, which I swore I'd never teach, until I got dropped off alone at my village with nothing but my HIV/AIDS manual and Life Skills manual
• Came home, watched the students play soccer. Omari and another teacher decided to come over and the other teacher decided to tell me I don't know how to teach and that I am generally ridiculous. I contemplated once again how I wish that all my neighbors were not complete assholes.

Thursday 4/23

• Was about to leave to go teach at primary school in the morning, when my counterpart Esha came over. I felt bad that she had walked all the way to my house, so I went to the priamry school really late. Taught about hygeine.
• Got condoms from dispensary. Ate lunch at Mama Rama's "restaurant". Came home and napped.
• Fundi delivered my furniture that has taken like 3 months to build. I was sitting on my porch preparing some teaching materials and one of the teachers I don't like came and blathered on about marriage and other things I wasn't paying attention to. Hung out with Tino for awhile. Finished preparing teaching materials and went to bed.

Friday 4/24

• Taught HIV/AIDS biology, disease progression, transmission and prevention at a secondary school in a neighboring village. These students actually listen to me unlike the students at my school.
• Came home, made orange juice and roasted peanuts, cleaned my house, worked halfheartedly on grant for the teacher training I am planning.
• Omari came over for a little then left. Then his younger brother Yassini came and we sat in silence for awhile. Then he started asking me random questions about HIV. Apparently he is never going to have sex or even kiss anyone because that is the most effective way to prevent HIV. He thinks it's possible to get HIV if you're making out with someone and accidentally bite them and make them bleed. I tried to explain that the chances of that are very small and I don't think that generally happens, and maybe you should be more gentle if you're making out with someone. He said people should just stop having sex and that would solve the problem of HIV. I tried to explain why I don't think abstinence-only education is very effective (ie we do that in the US and it doesn't work; people still get unwanted pregnancies and STDs because they don't have the information they need to protect themselves). He asked me if I was a virgin and I got really mad and wrote "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" on the ground and stopped talking to him. He continued to sit on my porch for half an hour. Some students came and got condoms. Yassini eventually left. I played with my cat for awhile then went to bed.
  
  

Pic update

This is me and one of my best friends in the village, Tino (short for Valentino, which by the way is not a very common Tanzanian name). He is the son of one of the secondary school teachers and one of my teachers. I think Tino was slightly confused by what I was doing with the camera. Also in the background is one of the secondary school students, Mudi.

I rarely use my camera, otherwise I would post more pictures. Happy Easter everyone. I'm trying to bring the fantastic American concept of the Easter Egg Hunt to my village. The only problem is we don't really have eggs.